“The experience others call confidence you experience as being at ease, fully yourself and not self-conscious but rather task conscious.”
— Augusten Burroughs

People are always searching for confidence. We want to feel confident in order to perform.

But we’re actually at our most confident when we’re not thinking about whether we are or are not confident.

We’re at our best when we’re focused on something other than ourselves and our thoughts.

I love the way Augusten Burroughs talks about confidence.
“Trying to feel confident will actually make you anxious,” he says. “Instead of thinking about confidence, what you need to do is focus on exactly what’s happening in the instant. Not even the whole moment; the instant at hand. When you’re on a date or in a meeting or wherever it is you need to be seen as confident or wish you had ‘confidence,’ this is the tool to pull from the box and use: be where you are when you’re there, doing whatever it is you’re doing. Engage with someone and focus on them, not on your own self, not wondering how focused you are or how much time has passed.”

The best pitchers in baseball go to the mound and put their entire focus on the pitch they are about to throw. They aren’t focused on how they feel, they are focused on executing the pitch they are about to throw.

That same thing can be applied to any area of your life.

Today, when you feel you need confidence, try instead to be so focused on the task at hand or be so involved with listening to the person you’re with that you don’t have time to think about whether or not you’re confident.

Win Your Day!

Contact MLB.com writer Steve Gilbert at winyourday@gmail.com to sign up for his daily inspirational emails.